My dad just emailed me this huge list of puns oh...
I changed my iPod's name to Titanic. It's syncing now.
When chemists die, they barium.
Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.
I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop any time.
I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.
This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore.
I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can't put it down.
I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.
They told me I had type-A blood, but it was a Type-O.
We’re going on a class trip to the Coca-Cola factory. I hope there's no pop quiz.
Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils?
Broken pencils are pointless.
I tried to catch some fog, but I mist.
What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.
I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.
All the toilets in New York’s police stations have been stolen. The police have nothing to go on.
I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.
Haunted French pancakes give me the crêpes.
A cartoonist was found dead in his home. Details are sketchy.
The earthquake in Washington obviously was the Government's fault.
Be kind to your dentist. He has fillings, too.
I'm going to go back to school
I’ll major in anarchism with a minor in anti-capitalist studies
misanderysoncooper: i visited the friend zone to see if i could make some friends but it was just a bunch of angry men’s rights activists in fedoras???
iguessimahipsternow: batreaux: i’m not like most girls. my head snaps back and a giant pez candy emerges from my throat I just cackled hysterically for like five minutes
The sun is in Gemini and I hate being a Gemini
I really want to get rid of most of my things and I’m really excited to begin doing that tomorrow.
My white privilege gets revoked for 3 months out...
(because I am multiracial and get really tan in the summer and also Maine is mostly white)
Today is one of those days where my body is shaking and my entire head hurts and I feel like I’m going to throw up and they tell me grieving is a process so I guess it’s okay to still have days like this
I was looking thru cds in the basement of this...
And I found a The Best of The Orb CD and today is just oh so fine
half way thu my Munjoy Mimosa and I realize it...
Today was just a great damn day. It was warm so I made some cut offs and gave myself a cool haircut and saw so many cool people when I went to a cool show with all of these great traveling musicians. It was a great welcome home activity for my fraaand
I'm gonna keep tellin' y'all to check out my art... →
You don’t really have to
Donna Summer died
:( I’m gonna drive off into the sunset listening to On the Radio in her honor